How Bullying Changes Who You Are !!

How Bullying Changes Who You Are!!

 (By Neha Soni) 

Image By:- Goutham Sagar

If you are being bullied and want to get rid of it, then someone, who can do it for you is YOU.

Bullying is the use of physical force or hateful words and actions to hurt somebody’s feelings. These actions are usually done by someone who has more power and authority than another person whom they are bullying. Bullying is not like a usual fight, it is a repetitive behavior of someone who wants to hurt others in any way possible.

Types of bullying:

Bullying can be of:-

• Physical bullying

1. Hitting

2. Pushing

3. Fighting

4. Tripping

5. Taking or breaking another person’s belonging

6. Making rude gestures

• Emotional bullying

1. Making fun of the appearance

2. Name-calling

3. Laughing

4. Starting rumors/lies 

5. Sending mean messages on the phone

6. Making rude comments publically

7. Teasing

8. Taunting

• Cyberbullying

1. Sending mean messages

2. Negative comments on pictures

3. Posting inappropriate edited pictures of other people

4. Agreeing with someone who posts something hurtful

5. Sharing pictures without the approval of the person

Impact of bullying:

Bullying can have a huge impact on mental health, both, in the present and in the future. Bullying plays with your brain and creates certain things that will affect your normal life.

Some of the effects on victim can be:-

• Social isolation

• Feelings of shame

• Sleep disturbance

• Changes in eating habits

• Low self-esteem 

• Anxiety

• Bedwetting

• High risk of illness

• Depression

• Increased risk of suicidal thoughts, suicide plans, and suicide attempts

• Post-traumatic stress disorders

• Poor general health

• Self-destructive behaviour, including self-harm

• Difficulty in building trust

• Difficulty in making friends and maintaining relationships

Stages of changes:

Stage 1 - Fear

When for the first time people get bullied, it sticks into their minds. The fearful thoughts of being bullied again, being caught alone by the bunch of people and get laughed on, just stuck into their head. They think that something bad will happen to them.

Stage 2 - Self-isolation

After being around the people who make fun of them, they usually self-isolate themself. They avoid going to school or college or in a public place where they are being bullied. 

In cyberbullying cases, victims shut down their computers and phones. For young people, the most convenient and easiest way of communicating with the world is through social media and when they self-isolate from that, they are just being left alone.

Stage 3 - Depression

Victims no longer trust people and they are left alone in the world. They may have anxiety about going in-crowd, being fearful of rejection or of being judged. The aftermath of bullying makes them feel worthless and depressed. Everything around them feels like crashing them down.

Stage 4 - Trust issues

People are damaged so much at this stage that they no longer trust people. Everyone they meet, they question their credibility. They don’t do it on purpose but are being forced from their mind to do it. They don’t want to get hurt again. They become shy and closed off around new people especially. They keep their thoughts with themselves because no one will understand them. They hardly talk to people.

Stage 5 – Selective in friendship

People that they thought were friends, turned their backs, and hurt them. Now they no longer make any friends and don’t let anyone seek in their life easily.

Stage 6 – Hope

After days passed, then months and maybe even years, no matter how long it will take to recover but they will start to realize who they are and learn to love themselves no matter what other people have said about them in the past. It gets better with time and they end up moving on. They move up in grades and eventually may find themselves finding people that truly like them. 

Stage 7 – Learn to speak up for yourself and others

They realize that they are strong and a good person. No one should treat anyone the way they were treated back then. They see someone at school being bullied or someone on the street being yelled at and they speak up for them. It makes them feel good. It gives them self-worth. They become more confident in whom they are. 

Stage 8 - Stop worrying about other’s opinions

Once they feel confident about themself, then nobody’s opinion cares. They realize that worrying about perfecting themself for everyone is not worth it. They know that people who are in their life will accept them for who they truly are. 

Stage 9- Being happy

End of mental torture, the final stage where they truly start being happy, when they enjoy their own company, they don’t let others bully them. When they shut out the haters, they just do it. 

We can’t control the situation, but we can control our thoughts on how we react to it. Celebrate the process of healing, be patient and calm and everything will fall into their place.

Some quotes that might make someone feel better:-

“Ignore the people who are always talking behind your back, that’s where they belong, behind YOU.”

“No matter how bad your life may seem at the moment, things will get better.”

“If people throw stones at you, then pick them up and build something.”

Education plays an important role in a person’s life and helps to become socially, emotionally, and mentally strong. We should try to give education to children who are not privileged.

Disclaimer:-

The opinions expressed in this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views of Light de Literacy and LDL does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.