Bullying

Bullying

( by Rounakshi Dey )

“I don’t want to go to school today, Ma” Shailaja said with a sob. 

Her mother frowned and said “Now what excuse do you have today?” She saw that this was becoming a habit for her daughter bunking schools twice or thrice a week. She thought Shailaja is not serious about her studies and hence she kept on making these demands, however a mother how can she allow her daughter to be not serious about her studies. Shailaja kept quiet as her mother kept on scolding her and finally she said “Poonam makes fun of me in class in front of everyone. She says I am dark so I should be called a burnt cupcake. Everyone laughs so one supports me” Shailaja continued in her sobs “I don’t want to go to that school Ma where everyone bullies me. I do not have any friends there. ” Shailaja’s Mother heard her complaint and said “Beta this is how the world is and they are just saying things out of fun. You have to be sporty and not pay any heed. You laugh at their jokes and see they will make you their friend. If you leave school then people will all the more laugh at you. You don’t want that right? Now come get ready or you will miss the school bus.” Shailaja was surprised. Her mother did not pay any heed to her sorrows nor did try to help her. Shailaja became quiet and vulnerable. She hated her school, her parents almost everyone. As she grew up she became someone with trust issues. She had no selfconfidence by the time she entered college, she always kept to herself and did not make any friends in college. She had learnt in these years that being dark-skinned was a bane and she was punished for her skincomplexion. She thought if she made friends they will also pass the same racist remarks upon her. Shailaja became a lonely person. Her parents thought it was her nature and never prodded deeply into the matter. 

How many of us know some Shailaja? Or maybe we are one of the Shailaja’s… 

The incident above is an example of Verbal Bullying. Bullying is a practice that is in this world since ages. People do not may heed to bullying much. As a result the victims suffer and the bully thinks he is entitled to do what he feels like. 

Bullying in a simple definition is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. Bullying is mostly repeated on a daily basis and it leaves ever-lasting impact on the minds of a victim. 

Now how can we distinguish a behavior to be bullying or not? 

There are broadly three categories of Bullying: 

1) Direct Bullying 

2) In-Direct Bullying 

3) Cyber-Bullying 

What does each word signify and how do we find out, if our close ones are victims of bullying? 

Direct Bullying: This refers to physically or verbally attacking someone like pushing someone making him trip, drop his books, eat his tiffin at school, call him by names, shout at him etc. All these are examples of Direct Bullying. 

Indirect Bulling: This refers to emotionally bullying a person without physically toughing him or her. Examples are spreading false rumors about him or her throughout college, not cooperating with the victim etc. 

Cyber-Bullying: This form of bulling is common now a days due to the advent of social media. This bullying refers to targeting a victim online. This includes posting nasty remarks online, circulating fake messages online, spreading obscene photo shopped images of the victim etc. 

Now we need to understand the psychology of the Bully and what effect it has on the minds of the victim. 

Why does a Bully behave in this manner? 

A bully harasses the victim because he feels entitled to do it. He is never reprimanded for his actions, neither is he made to understand that whatever he is doing is wrong. A bully feels he has a right to target someone physically weaker than him and mock him. 

Thus whenever we find a bully around us we should first make him understand that whatever he is up to is wrong and it is hurting someone. Bullies need psychological treatment just like the victims do. 

Now what happens to the victims? 

The victim is emotionally traumatized. He or she develops low selfconfidence, doubts her identity, hates herself, has trust issues and sometimes in an unfortunate case takes her own life as she feels no one loves her. The effects on bullying doesn’t restrict itself to just school or college but they live life time scar. 

How can we help? 

Whenever we hear or see someone being victims of bullying ,we should first reach out to that person, hear his or her woes, support him or her and make him or her understand that we are there for him or her. If necessary we should seek counselling and mental therapy for the victim as most scars are in our mind. 

Next we should find out the bully. The actions of the bully are to be reported to the authority and the bully deserves to be reprimanded for his actions. Sometimes the bully also doesn’t understand that what he is doing is wrong so it is our responsibility to make him understand. 

Bullies need psychological help as much as victims do. And by reaching out to both the victim and the bully we can do our bit in making two lives beautiful.

Disclaimer:-

The opinions expressed in this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views of Light de Literacy and LDL does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.